A friend posted this on Facebook today. I tend to skim through all the posts on my 'wall' and rarely stop to really take in each post. As I came upon this one today I did a double take and found myself rereading this one. I suddenly experienced a feeling I am not at all familiar with...as I reread this for the third time I realized what made me pause. I saw myself in the descriptive words. Is this really me thinking of myself as beautiful? No mistaking it...that is exactly what happened.
The pain and suffering I have endured over the course of my lifetime blinded me, burning my eyes with tears making it so difficult to see the truth in things and people around me in the valley of my discontent. It blinded me of the truth about my own self as well. As I look back now from the peak of the mountain I see in my mind a beautiful sunset...or perhaps it is a sunrise. The dawn of a new way of thinking in my life now. I am worthy.
I used to spend ridiculous amounts of time longing to return to the days of my 20somethings, but as I sit here today at age 44, in my sweatshirt and jeans with a little more weight than I should have acquired I realize I am more beautiful today than I ever have been in my life. I have the benefit of the journey with its ups and downs, twists and turns.
I can actually say that today I experienced self-esteem. I am the beautiful person who has been shaped and molded by terrible pain only to emerge stronger, wiser and more understanding. I am happy to feel this feeling...I am not feeling full of myself...rather a nice rich, strong, loving peace and wholeness.
Thank you Mari for sharing this photo with me today! I appreciate you and your posts. Carol
